I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
