We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
