Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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