people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
