um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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