Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
