it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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