Cold hands, warm shart.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize