just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
