no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
