dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
