you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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