either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
