Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
