I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I want is dick and wine.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
