Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize