let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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