he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you told grandpa to call you daddy
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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