He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
