Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
