just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is the high leading the old right now
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize