I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
