dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
