I'm going to jail i love you
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
