It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
