During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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