Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My pussy is not your playground.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This is the high leading the old right now
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
