So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize