Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
