At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize