Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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