Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
