I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize