Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
