And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
