Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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