He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
