i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and she was petting her beer can
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
