His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Terrible idea I love it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
