Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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