so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this boner is exhausting
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
