You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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