Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I want is dick and wine.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
