Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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