I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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