you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
