There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
