So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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