stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
