There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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