don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
