hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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