I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
