i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she smelled like a LAN party
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
