Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
