And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize
