i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
