I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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