just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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