i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
