Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think people are normalizing furries
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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