i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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