You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
