he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
