They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
