I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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