I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
