So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just gargled with NyQuil
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
