I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize