How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Drake has all the answers
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
