What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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