For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
