worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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